28 October 2023
Stage one of two on a tiny jet
Melbourne to Cairns
Just over a year ago, I was all set to head off to Japan after having cancelled the 2 previous years due to the ongoing pandemonium. Everything was pointing to the borders surely being reopening by November, surely? The various old guys that form the almost entirely male parliament of Japan started talking about pure Japanese blood and the risk of non pure blood causing mutations in the until now pure strains of COVID that Japan had been blessed with. Come mid October 2022, the messaging seemed to revert back to 'Japan is closed to any non Japanese'. So for the third year in a row I cancelled my annual trip and re booked to head back to Korea for the second time in a year, which you can also read all about on this website.
Of course, after hearing I had cancelled my trip, literally as soon as the government of Japan could coordinate an emergency meeting via facsimile, they immediately threw open the borders, going from being the last country in the world other than North Korea with restrictions, to having zero restrictions of any kind. But they had succeeded in keeping me out.
Fast forward a year and I am off to Melbourne airport for my flight to the former second last hermit kingdom on earth, via Cairns. The first leg to Cairns takes about 3.5 hours. I do not think I have been to Cairns airport before, so that is kind of exciting.
Backtracking slightly, as I do, naturally, the Skybus to Melbourne airport featured people who clearly had ebola and galloping knob rot (that is a real thing, look it up).
Describing how sick everyone is will be a constant feature of this ridiculously long diatribe, the highlight of the bus illnesses was the woman with whooping cough so bad she was sobbing and seemed to be saying 'why will nobody help me?' between desperate gasps for air.
So on that note, evidently Australia is now in a secret seventh wave and Japan has banned all discussion of their superior ninth wave. As usual, Japan is ahead of Australia.
I think a recent trip my first photo featured the blight of all society, the rental scooter. So to celebrate the fact that people keep dying on these things while drunk weekly, and occasionally killing innocent old ladies, here is a photo of the government sponsored population control devices.
The Virgin lounge had nutri grain. Very important and exciting news. Without this there would be a niacin deficiency in my diet today.
And now for jet 1 of 2 for the day. An older 737. This one will take me to Cairns. It is the model that is not famous for plummeting out of the sky, I will be on one of those new ones later. This photo deliberately shot through filthy glass.